Oh Lord, Please Help......

Where do I start today? You see I happen to have a disease which is constantly fighting you and you can either fight back or give up and curl up on the couch. Don't get me wrong because I have couch days and sometimes two couch days in a row but then the stiffness sets in and I realize I NEED FRESH AIR. I am not sure fresh air would do it today. After hearing the news of the school shooting in Conn., I am physically sick. I have always attacked this disease and the other ones I have with a child's outlook. That outlook means you must not overlook the child within you and speak your piece. Everyone may not agree with me and I may not always be right, but I tried. Now I can honestly say I'm scared. What do I tell that grandson who is smart enough to notice the foam on the ocean and believe God put soap in there so we could stay clean?, How can his imagination grow if he is afraid? Oh please,Lord.....HELP US....I try so hard to remain upbeat and always spread a smile instead of a tear. This must stop. There is no time for innocence. These pre-teens know more than I wanted to know at twenty. I'm sorry but life is wrong if a child cannot be a child in safety. Love always, Pokie

The Rodney Vista Gang

This writing thing is really weird. I have never in 65 years felt so compelled to pour my soul out to a very diversified audience. So much of my writing has been playing around with no real taught skills emerging.. Yes I did have fours years English in high school and more in college but, did it soak in? I was more of a "fun haver" than student. I'd appear with my hair just so, in just the right cloths and try desperately to look smart and not be called on. In the sixties, life was so much less complicated. I emerged an old hippy with great memories to grow old with. My aunt Dorothy always said I was the storyteller of the family and I trusted her judgement since she taught English all her life. Maybe storytelling can be inherited like all the rest of your genes and sooner or later they come to the surface to drive you crazy. Just as Parkinson's and RA hit me late in life, so did writing and when I die people will find reminders of me on envelopes and scrapes of paper everywhere. Tonight's collection of nonsense is about some very dear friends whom I have literally loved all my life. We grew up, next door to each other, in a very unique and never to be experienced again neighborhood. Without my friends I would have never survived. Me and four to six guys spent every waking hour of the day together. We wandered from house to house eating whatever each mother or grandmother would put out for us. We attended every vacation bible school in town. One week we were Methodist and the next Catholic.....just who ever would come pick us up and bring us back. We played outside til all hours of the night catching lightening bugs and playing hide and seek. There was no fear. We were safe in our own magical world. Most of the time we were barefoot but wanted for nothing. I never remember a reference being made to me being the only girl in this pack. All for one and one for all....rather like Spanky and his gang. I'm sure the independence and respect for another human being has carried us through many a trial as we grew older. Thank you guys for all the love you gave me then and continue to send my way............love ya, Pokie

True Love....

This past Sunday, I got up at 5:30 A.M.knowing that a very special day was about to be had with my Lord. I arrived at church at 8:00, only two hours before the service was scheduled to begin. I had had a terrible week and my depression was not controllable. These weeks are view and far between for me. But once I was in this pattern I could not get out....no matter what. I pulled up in front of our church armed with my Christmas tithe, canned food for the needy, box tops for the school kids and a heart totally full of questions. From the car, I all but ran to the front door and as I entered the door the smile came on my face. I could feel his hug and reassurance that all would be fine. I wandered toward the sanctuary trying desperately not to break into tears. The room was beautiful. Though the day was foggy and very overcast,the stain glass windows were absolutely radiant. They sent their beautiful colors into every corner. The tree was all aglow from floor to high rafters with white ornaments and millions of twinkling white lights. As I moved to the last pue, the choir began to sing and went completely through their Christmas Cantata with me as their audience. Minister Roger came in and sat behind me. I looked up to the huge wooden cross over the communion table and I felt the love and it was huge. One of the lines from a song was LET THEIR BE PEACE AND LET IT BEGIN WITH ME. And may I add let it begin today. There was a calm in my soul and my heart no longer ached with pain. I felt extreme love and his plan for me was once again clear. I WAS RENEWED. My church is The First United Methodist Church of Vandalia, Illinois. Don't wait for an emergency to bring you to her doors.Get up your courage real soon and venture in to find out what true love is. love, Pokie

17,000 views.....thank you

Little did I realize that at this posting I have posted to this blog 299 articles in five years. My how time flies when life is pulling you onward. Since that faithful first post all those years ago, I have had both knees replaced, my right hip replaced, and last March I celebrated my 65th birthday by having my left shoulder replaced through reverse rotor cup surgery. Now eight months later I feel at loss. I feel the need to write but also feel the need for it to be pure and not used to further anyone or any disease group. I write for suffers of Parkinson. I write for persons who suffer from seizures, be they medically or genetically induced. I write for those who never have a painless day and we are talking severe pain. In this discussion I am not referring to individuals, like me, who are just trying to get the news out. I will never again,promote and work day and night for a group who takes the money I bring in for them and use it for padding their payroll. This is why you will always see me support the April Unity Walk in Central Park, NY. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF DONATIONS GOES TO RESEARCH. I have worked with them since 2009 and hope to go again this coming April. Yes for those who have ask I will try to do videos for your use. No I do not have guest writers on my blog. I will consider your article and send readers in your direction......This blog and "Coffee With Pokie" are my babies and the labor for birth has been hard and long. I could never have reached my physical or mental state were it not for PatientsLikeMe.com, The Parkinson's Unity Walk, and my many friends and followers on Facebook, Twitter and just plain internet. Much to my amazement some 17,000 people have viewed my sites and I would like to thank you one and all and hope you continue to view my writing as informational and understanding. I pray for God's help to serve you well. Love Pokie

In His Hands

So many years ago I lost a grandson at 10 months of age. He had never been sick and was the absolute apple of everyones eye. He went to sleep one morning and neveer woke up again....CIDS had claimedd another victim. No warning just pain left behind to fill an unfillable void. I remember every minute and what I waas doing that day and the thoughts I was having.....at 12:30 I was showing pictures of him to a friend and telling her all about him and he was proably dying....I in one place and he in another some two hundred miles away. The pain never goes away even though more grandkids have been born and those that were young then have grown up. I thought at that time, I could never get over that pain and struggled to fiqure out what God could possibly be trying to tell me. Then something like today happens and I know.....No person or living thing is a mistake in God's eyes. We are all put here with a purpose and timeline.....and we are alwayss in his hands. It is an awesome place to be and as a grandmother of six and Kane, I always want the best for them and my Lord is it.....In living through that time and the many illnesses I have survived since, the pain does not compare but it has helped me console many and the following years as they suffered and questioned their faith.....I pray tonight for all concerned in this...all across the nation. I pray for your healing and pray that you let people come to you through God to ease your pain........God has always and will always love you....love Pokie

Today and Yesterday

For months I have been sorting through my life and my families life. Pictures, clothing and ANTIQUES ...an antique(me) sorting a life time. This could have been made much easier if my parents had not been horders. McDonald plastic cups, Arby salad bowls, peanut butter plactic containers, paper and plastic bags and it goes on and on. Mixed in with an array of STUFF, you might find, money, 22 shells,fish hooks,pictures and more. Am I doing this in one house? No,two! Never was a Christmas card or birthday card discarded nor an article of clothing. Clothing my brother and I wore in the sixties hang proudly in the closet waiting for a time to come when they will be in fashion again. It's not their fault(my parents)they grew up in the depression...very poor. Nothing in that time had only one life and was never discarded wheither it was chipped or discolored. As I carry a box of this and a box of that up stairs to go through it, I cannot help but wonder if the eighteen year olds of today have any idea what poor really is. Do they know the value of things from fifty to a hundred years ago? I fit into that bracket of fifty to one hundred and I wonder what value they think I have. Just when I want to step out to investigate and enjoy some of the things I pasted by to have my kids. I do not regret that move but I can no longer do three days work in one, as I did then. I can't lift in front of me and carry. I can't lift twice my size. Yes, I am old at 65 BUT I know my best friend (BF) has me right where he wants me and a I will survive. Be there no doubt, that best friend is my Lord. This is something I needed or I would not have been presented with it. I WILL sort through this and mail the assorted things from the past to the assorted people they first belonged to and I WILL feel that my mission is done and hopefully God will grant me another twenty years to thank him... It is a shame you get so smart so late in life. You see loves you should have stayed with, money you should have saved and roads you should have taken but I believe I am making My Maker happy. Bear with my moods through this because I am sure the old me is still in there. I can tell you that with the exception of 5mg warafin, I am completely drug free .....No seizure or parkinson meds, no diabetic or blood pressure meds...tylenol extra for pain and inflamation and vitamins....Thank you Lord....love Pokie