Monday, July 7, 2008

Hello.......Am I In There?

http://blogger.com/blog-formatting.g?blogID=7105864728904284820
Blogger: Today With PokieToo and Parkinson's Disease - Formatting Settings

Do you ever wonder if people actually see the real you? Is there a real you? How far does someone dig before they hit your soul? Does cronic illness affect your soul? Does someone ever really change or is that other person always there just waiting to come out. Then with Parkinson's as your brain cells diminish does any of this matter and if so how much does it matter? What gives up in the end, the mind, the body or the soul? Can you live without one of these, if so which one should go first leaving the other two to carry on? These are pretty deep questions but are indeed questions that some "Parkies " deal with everyday BUT should they?...........

I believe I make a concious effort everyday not to address or answer any of these questions. That could be considered living a false life or being Polyanna. Since one of the key factors to this disease is rest and the management of depression, why not just take your remaining days and throw caution to the wind and fly. Leave all the gates open , walk on the grass, laugh in the library. If you don't do it now, when are you going to work it in? I'm beginning to believe that 15% brain cells is not too bad and it gives you a free ride on some really neat roller coasters if you dare.

I'm at a very critical crossroad right now and tomorrow may detour me. I have a doctors appointment to try and find out why I have this swelling going on. It started in my ankles and tops of my feet, and now has made it to my knees. The old term "Tight as a Tick" has nothing on me. My skin cannot expand anymore, so walking is to say the least awkward. Yet I really feel great mentally and my soul has never been better. So I have to ask myself. "Is this the next step God has in store for me?" Am I finally going to learn how to fly from a wheelchair? Or have I yet another illness waiting at the door to come in? Who knows? And really I'm not going to loose any sleep over it either. Many years ago I gave up control. About 1996 would be the year I would pick and ever since no matter what my Lord says, it's ok with me and I never question or ask why.....and you know what? I am happier for it....love POKIE

No comments:

Today With PokieToo and Parkinson's and Acute RA Disease