Well my favorite time of the year has arrived but this year with a little apprehension. I said last spring I would never spend another Winter in this house. Well time is marching on and here I am. I have this uncontrollable urge to be by myself in the country with my things, in the quiet. It would be like returning to the 1800's for I have spent my life collecting antiques that no one now seems to want or have space for (kids that is). Magazines a hundred years old, quilts galore, farm equipment and old, old hand tools...and .......books and books and books. I will have to call a mover if I find a place. The funny thing is I can almost see it in my mind. I don't plan on being a burden on anyone.....I just feel this need.
As I have been getting ready for this......I realized just how much I have wrote since October of 2007. Boxes and boxes, some published and not...some just notes on envelopes and something wrote on the back of a napkin that seemed real important at the time. I guess if the day comes, I will just go through the house and point to what to take and let the kids do what they wish with the rest.
Funny how some things seem so important. I really want a fish aquarium. Lots of flowers and an East facing window to have my coffee and read my Bible at in the morning. Nothing big just homey and comfortable..........Ah, the dreams of this old brain. I must get to bed now. So pleasant dreams to all love Pokie
2 comments:
Dear Pokie,
I've just read most of your posts on here and it's late, or early, whichever you might call that darkest hour of the morning at 3am - - the hour that I hear of so many with PD find themselves awake and when they feel most alone in the world.
Anyway,the post where you're talking about still being where you didn't think you would be at this time in your life, with piles of papers of writings you have done, piles of magazines and books, books, books.... I've read alot since that post so I may not be using your exact words, but I just need to say - - would you happen to be my twin??? Then, as I read on, you speak of your depression, your refusal to give up, your emotional and physical pain, your search for neurologists, 11 I think I read at one point you have gone thru. I have gone thru 5 in the last 3 years and have settled for one within about 15 miles of my home in southern Illinois at a place in Herrin. I've settled with him for the moment because I'm at the level of having to go to a hearing before a judge in order to get approved for SSDI.
. ...You sent me a msg a few months ago to connect w/you about the neurologist thing and I didn't. I was too depressed to talk about it. But, God and I have been talking about it alot lately and tonight, when I couldn't sleep, I saw your blog on my FB page and started reading. I had to write you. Boy, once I got started, I sure didn't stop! (I just had to erase a bunch of what I wrote --too much for this spot it wouldn't publish it!) I have so much more I want to share with you & talk to you about. But, I've probably already written more that this blogspot will allow! (Just found out i did!) If not, u will get this & God Bless you Pokie. I'm Dana O. on PLM. Haven't been there much lately, But, will b there soon. I began a Blog on here a while ago & it has maybe 3 posts. I hope to connect with you soon, when I'm not so tired & I'm making more sense. As Pappy on PLM says, 'Keep on Dancin'"! Love, Debbie (Dana O.)
AAAARGH!! Dear Pokie, I just wrote a book to you & it was too long, so I shortened it, then tried to publish it and it totally disappeared! I'm technologically challenged and too tired now to try to rewrite right now but I just want to say, "Thank-you and God Bless" for all you've written here! I believe we must be soul-mates or twins separated at birth from what you've written but I'll have to explain another time. I'm wiped out now ;/ A few months ago you sent me a msg on PLM to get in touch with you about my neurologist situation and at the time I was too discouraged to even talk about it... I've done alot of praying and soul-searching since then and, despite several potentially bad things that have taken place in the last 3 weeks or so, prayers are being answered even tho' my physical pain has increased incredibly this past week.
I have a blog on here I started awhile ago because I like to write and have been told I need to 'get it out there' by several. Well, I have about 3 posts on here, the rest is 'in piles, here and there, in my house!' Sound familiar?
Pokie, I live in southern Illinois, very close to Carbondale. You probably know where that is, since you don't live that far away, I believe. I would love to connect with you if we could sometime. But, for now, I just want to leave this note for you, let you know you have helped me so much here and on PLM. I'm Dana O. on PLM (did I already say that in this version?!) Kirby has also been an inspiration to me quite awhile back.
I'm going to close for now 'cause am finally sleepy again and could use some sleep. but, as Pappy on PLM says, 'Keep on dancin'!' You are an amazing person, Pokie :) Love, Debbie (Pursley Korando) on FB.
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