Saturday, February 9, 2013
Life as a senior....
MY, my, will life ever quit changing for me, or is that the way it's suppose to be? I guess, really, I am waiting for something or someone to make it all better. Thank heavens God sticks with me through my trials. I have found so many of these trials are self inflicted. In the early stages of my disease, I would spend hours, days or weeks on one project and now an hour completely does me in and as I return to the recliner, my mind continues to work. I also now have REMS Disorder and so my nights are spent tossing and turning with very vivid dreams. It seems when I am visiting someone, morning coffee is completely consumed by chatter about my night before. I holler, scream, cuss and throw my hands around and never remember a sound. Quite often, I remember the dreams and usually enjoy them but any unfinished business from the day before is really given a work over by night. Once I visited a Neurologist who told me I was a "Neurological Mess". I never went back to see him again but now I realize just how right he was....and often it scares me.. As this disease progresses, I understand the need for a caregiver where before it seemed silly to sit and watch someone clean my house BUT I don't get any pleasure at all from cleaning...none. Cleaning and having a spotless house to display my things had always been at the top of my list. Clean is still at the top of my list but I would love to have someone else to do it. I've always had big sit down lunches and dinners and now nothing. No one can fit to much into their schedules anymore and most "fitins" are a duty not a pleasure. I think I was a little late in figuring just how life
can be for a senior with multiple complications. Surely this is a question for me to ponder and solve or maybe just forget and go on......love pokie