Just a Little Down

I wonder how you learn to live by yourself? It is truly not an easy task. When I was in the nursing home, I relished everyone just leaving me alone, but at home I long for a visit. Everyday I turn on the news and the famous song writers, band leaders, and writers who got me through my beginnings in my early teens, have died and more and more at a closer area to my age. Next I go to the home town paper on my computer and read the obituaries to check on loved ones passing into another life. I fix me a meal for the day and feed my cats and dogs, take my meds and lay back down.

Last night I watched a special on the influenza epidemic in 1919 and realized just how bad something can become. They finally decided it was being spread when you opened your mail each day. Currently I am kind of under house arrest and will be until spring. July 25, 2017 I had open heart surgery and can not take a flu shot so they gave me a pneumonia shot and ask me to stay in and limit my access to my grandkids and anyone else. Were I not blind in my left eye, I would read and sew, but I am totally blind in that eye. Thank you Lord for leaving my right one going and for letting Google put up with me on here. The funny part is I have learned alot about life since I have gotten old. The unfunny part is two thirds of my family have deserted me for one reason or another. Three years and nothing from six of my family...Two daughters and four grandkids....Two miles away and I guess I make them uneasy. I would not be here were it not for my son and his family but what a burden I must be at times.

Well, so much for this sad story. "Everyone cries sometimes" and today is my day to feel sorry for myself...tomorrow I will be better, I promise love Pokie

A SHINNY PENNY

Those who know me well for years have watched a single shinny penny appear from nowhere during times in my life when I was under extreme stress. No it is not a drug thing, These pennies just show up where pennies would not be found. Sometimes  there is a short conversation between me and my Lord or sometimes I feel Him chuckle and smile. My belief is that all this is to keep me sending me in the directions he wishes me to go. This all started, as I remember  in 1991 when I survived a grand mal seizure and woke up to my Neurologist telling my three children he was treating two women in critical condition and only one would survive. A week later, as they were preparing me for discharge, a shower was in order. They striped me down and left me alone in the shower and as I set on the bench, I glanced between my feet and there was a very shinny  1987 penny. I picked it up and clutched it tightly in my fist  until my daughter could get there to take it, She had a gold band put on it and mounted it on a gold necklace which  I wore until on day it came up missing. I ventured on with my life finding pennies in very odd places for years. I always looked to the heavens and and thanked God for his blessing and then when I retired in 2005,I moved to the farm to take care of my parents and found the penny on the top shelf of a book case.
I cannot tell you how many times I was in the process of making an important decision and would have went in the wrong direction but looked down and there was a penny.....A shinny penny never a new mint. A penny that should have been dirty from wear.
Well I haven't found too many pennies lately though really bad things have been happening to me and depression has been my constant companion. But today I woke up early and there on the carpet, in the middle of the room was A SHINNY PENNY. OK yes there are some ways it could have gotten there BUT. The last thing I did before I went to bed was vacuum that rug......Thank you Lord and Happy New Year to me and You.....Love Pokie