Sunday, November 1, 2009

Yes I Can.....

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For over three years now, my mind has allowed me to rest for two or three hours and then either dream or force me out of a dream onto the computer and typing.  To some this would seem torture but to me it is a passion pouring forth.  My thoughts seem never ending and constant about Parkinson's Disease and how it effects my daily life.  No matter how I feel, be it weak or in pain, my first thought is to get to the computer and type in some form or fashion. My whole life has always centered around my family.  My three kids and later five grandkids have always been all I seemed to be able to live for and then came this disease. Oddly enough I seem to be granted these short periods where my family is allowed to make me laugh and then back to here to type all I feel.  Yesterday my youngest grandchild graced me with a visit.  I can no longer just take off and visit him at my every wim.  My mother at 84 and can not be left alone and now my Epilepcy prevents my driving long distances. I did not realize how much I missed the laughing. That little face brought a whole different world to me.  He turned and looked me straight in the eye and  for a moment. I did not have a care in the world..  Parkinson's was not a part of me.  It was only me and Ayden....laughing.
Here he was at eighteen months in all his Halloween glory  and he had total command of me and every thing around me.  Those beautiful blue eyes surrounded by that most gorgeous white blond hair knew me only as "Nee Nay" and my home was a treasure trove of buttons to push with a kitten to follow along behind  My eyes never left his the whole time he was here.  I litterly was in a trance. He sat on my lap and I can only say I visited heaven.  I went to bed with a smile on my face and still have that smile on my face. He gave me the strenghth to fight through a hug.  When my resorces were running so low God sent me prescious Andyen to shore me up for another fight.  Wow.... what a gift!  I see now it was their way of saying, " Can you remember this hug and pass it on?"  "Can you hug someone who really needs it tomorrow?" "Can you make them smile?""Can you write one more word to let them know they are important?"..... YES I CAN.....love Pokie

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Today With PokieToo and Parkinson's and Acute RA Disease