How Time Slips Away

I have definitely been slacking on my writing, lately. At least public writing....... I am constantly writing poetry and prose on slips of paper and sticking them in books or my purse and pull them out much later to review and add to. In the past five years I have accumulated many mountains of the written word...some mine(most) and some from other people. With Parkinson's I have trouble retaining what I read , but have found if I write it down it sticks better, hence stacks of unfiled thoughts and dreams. I still wake up in the middle of the night with a verse or song going through my brain, begging for attention, at which time I climb out of bed and usually, spend all night perfecting it to my taste. Last night or better yet, this morning I woke up in prayer, not once but twice. This is a first for me. My prayer was in thanks for a special relationship which is forming. I can only say there is a lot to be said for hanging on just a little longer when you think there is no more to live for. As optimistic as I seem, recently I had all the pain and negativity I could stand and was just tired. Tired of fighting to live, tired of being surrounded by negative thoughts and tired of trying to make good of a very hard road to travel by ones self. I was truly making my bucket list and hoping to be spared continuing strife on my journeys to the after life. I pulled together all the courage I could and ventured out after months of home bound living and you know what? God rewarded my efforts once again. I know in times of upheaval over religion and faith, there is a lot of disbelief, but I am solid in my faith! As hard as my times get I have never decided to opt out and end it....I just blend back into the woodwork and become complacent. GOD SAID NO! It isn't time yet and brought me a whole new fantastic life like none I have ever known.......If I had a way I would bottle this and send it to each of my friends and acquaintances in the belief that their life would be saved too. I am no spring chick and I move like I'm ninety sometimes, but I know I am loved through and through and someone cares, just about me. In that thought I was made to understand that when you receive you pay back. Never take anything you cannot repay. .....and if the pleasure was GREAT pay back in kind and it keeps on coming.....I had no idea what I was missing until God took me and showed me......and so at three this morning before time slipped any further away, I was giving thanks in my dreams. I will not share my veery personal prayer but I am sure God heard me and listened....Love Pokie