Weathered and Worn

See this old barn. She's standing so proud, though her supports are very compromised and she appears quite faded. She has taken repeated attacks against her exterior and still remains true to herself, and Oh, the stories she can tell. She is very large by general standards and in some places very disorganized, yet she stands proudly for all to see. I bet she never even thought of making a "bucket list" or giving up. I passed her two weeks ago on a journey to my past.
You see two months or more ago I had given up and was making lists of things I really wanted to do before I died. This is so totally not me but none the less I was there, making my bucket list.....Me the person who cheers everyone else up was failing and fast....I was just tired. I was tired of thirty some pills a day, I was tired of hobbling everywhere I wanted to go. I was tired of feeling ninety when I was sixty I was just tired! Though I was ready to check it all in, God must have had other plans for me. As he usually does, He sent me an option. Chuck it in and give up or look around and try again....I can say this much about the whole process....it scared me to death but now two months into it I have never been happier in my life.
As humans in God's world we really are not given the option to quit, no matter what. Much like this old barn I have been beat on and weathered many a very strong storm and YET survived to see the sunshine the next day. If there is one thing I have had all my life is faith. Sometimes it has made me appear to be a pie eyed "Pollyanna" and I have often been referred to as "just a little off" but it has gotten me to today. When God decided to show me what it was to be truly loved, he did a beautiful job, as always. I passed this barn on a journey to my past and came back to just stare in amazement at it's beauty. I hope I make you proud. Lord, were you to travel by me and just take a glance. I'll not give up again and I truly thank you for the faith you had and still have in me.
"No one can go back and make a new beginning BUT anyone can start from now and make a happy ending." and "We are never given dreams without also being given the power to make them come true" "Why do we close our eyes when we sleep....when we cry, when we imagine or when we kiss? Because, the most beautiful things in the world or unseen." Love ya Pokie