Big Little Steps

Tomorrow at 6am i set out to conquer all my shadows in one large swoop before it's too late. After forty five years I am returning to my home town for a class reunion. Nothing against anyone in my class and nothing against the town but it seemed every time a reunion came up I was pregnant or going through a divorce. Nice excuses huh? Inside I still didn't see myself as good enough, pretty enough, fancy enough and wealthy enough to return. Isn't it funny it took Parkinson's Disease, Epilepsy, aging and extra pounds to bring me to my senses. none of that ever should have meant any difference then or later and sure means absolutely nothing now. I wonder what I could have done if God would have given me this self confidence at twenty or even forty. Oh no, he being the joker he is, gives it to me at sixty three where every thing I do I have to work for....nothing comes easy except the unexpected. I never fear I'm not going to make it. I might run out of time or he might just keep me around until I get done, if there is a done. Almost everyday I sit on the edge of my bed and wonder how I am going to face a new challenge and by the end of the day he has gotten me over the hurdle and on to the next. It's like in high school, I could never watch or run the hurdles because I was petrified of falling in the cinders....and now I do hurdles everyday and fall around like a clown. I use to cry if I had to read a paper in front of the class and now you can't shut me up. My car guit on me and mom on the interstate about a month ago and I was in no hurry to repurchase because of the seizure in October. Then I decided that was silly and started the powers to be looking for a Tahoe to get up my hill with leather seats and on star just in case but before it gets here I rented a car for this weekend and I am taking my first major trip on my own since last October...I know I can do it I just have to prove it to not only myself but my family. I don't remember all this proofing at any other time in my life. I probably just didn't pay any attention, but right now I am learning so much more daily than I ever learned daily in college because I want to learn...and every minute is precious because it is here.....thank you and whohoooooo love Pokie

I am out there on the soap box again......

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I really don't know who to call first, "the geek squad " for my computer or my brain.  I 'm not to sure one isn't handicaping the other.  I go in to the computer and some nights it runs so smooth and other nights I can't even get started.  My printer has totally ignored me for about a month now and a couple of nights ago just up and printed a years worth of one of my other blogs Coffee With Pokie  .  I was tickled to get the printout but for over a month the computer had told me it was not connected to the printer. Maybe it was wrong and was not connected to me.  Everyday I am reminded of the shrinking number of brain cells I have.  I am thinking God thinks this is very funny when I try to manuver around. My inablity to understand or retain what I DO understand seems to be getting larger.  I would think this would be a lot easier if I was not working on so many projects at one time. My diningroom table has a 2 ft. x 2 ft quilt square on it tha cannot be moved until secure.  My desk in the study has books laying around everywhere open to something I think is important to say.  Mix in the idea of Christmas and decorations and presents.  Dress that up with holiday visits and my beloved grandkids.....and my brain sometimes just starts screaming "stop you fool, your not  suppose to be able to understand this" But as I sit here looking around, I cannot think of one of these things I want to give up.  The giiving up would be like giving up a very good friend, and we know I don't do that.  This is my time of year, even though winter has come with a vingence just like the Almanac said it would.  I don't know about your part of the world or country but the wooly worms in my part of the world were totally black this year..meaning when winter started, it would be bad all the way through without stopping..  I didn't get out to get persimmons, but did you know you can split the pit open and there is either a knife, fork or spoon inside and that is a sign wheither the winter will be mainly ice, snow or cutting winds.....Are you getting the picture here?  My brain is a world of useless information....dated back about nineteen hundred and tring to wander out into cyberspace and function...heaven help them and me,

Now if this were not enough I am toying with the idea of loosing alot of weight and how I could document it through my doctor. This maybe more than I can handle, but I will warn you the thought is in the process.

Now just a word on the subject of doctors.  Are you aware of the fact that the US government is trying to leave Neurologists out of the new Medical Plan?  This would mean that Neurologist would be the only physicans who manage and coordinate care that would not be eligible for the bonus. What or THEY thinking?  I cannot function without a Neurologist at any price and Have set a very high standard as to who I see.  What can you do about it?  Please call your congressman or email him and complain.  Get them included.  Why should we have to monitor every inch of the way this bill travels on?  Isn't  it suppose to be in our best interest?  Not hardly if you stab my neurologist in the back. I not only have Parkinson's but Epilepcy, too.  My mom has Alzeheimers, my neighbor has MS. We all need the special care of a Neurologist and the best we can find.  Think about it and call...

There is just one more thing......I wish you the Merriest of Seasons....Be it Christmas or whatever you celebrate.  Just try to remember one thing.  Look what such a small package has done to change the world.  Can't we help out with a series of small deeds. If it be only a hug to someone in need,.Do It.  Everything you do for someone else comes back two fold    Merry Christmas        Love Pokie

Pokie on a Soap Box

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You would never know that it's been a month since I had a seizure.  I am feeling great and the things that are happening in the part of the medical field I touch are just beyond belief.  I have waited for three years for some of the things that are happening now as you read this. People are contacting me that have arthritis, Parkinson's, Epilepsy, diabetes and more and wanting information and I can provide them with reading material.  Patients from all over the world...Kenya, Israel, Canada  and all over the U.S. The "One on One" belief is spreading.... and fast. Who would have thought that three years ago such communities would be springing up that benefit the patient?  Finally the patient has come to the forefront, where he should have been all along.  The patient is the one with the disease and he should be in control of his treatment and records....He should be given every bit of information and showed every test result.  He should not be treated as a number but a person with a heart and soul. As we get these diseases the opportunity for research increases.  Many diseases have cross similarities and can be studied for the benefit of all. If you have Parkinson's, you have symptoms similar to Ms, ALS and many more.You should have the right to find other patients and form a community for the benefit of all and have that information researched for a cure.....because one cure will no doubt affect all of us.  As we as patients reach out into cyberspace to other patients to find out what works and what does not, drugs that don't work are left behind and treatments are required to be improved.  The diseases that were concidered hopeless and  therefore best treated by medicating (often over medicating) and hiding that patient from the public, are coming to the forefront.  We are funtioning , productive members of society.  True there are things we can not do for ourselves and yes we need help in some areas but the mind is the last thing to go and we are the senior survivors.  We are the people who know the ropes. All we need is someone let us use their legs to spread the word and help us find a cure.  Parkinson's is being diagnosed at eighteen...It is no longer an old persons disease.....Can you help us out and let us use your bodies and legs to get our knowledge to the public and the medical field?...As always, Pokie

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THREE STAGES

Isn't it amazing how God leads us through?

He gives and he takes, to keep us so true.

I can only speak for this life he has given me

and it has appeared in stages of three.

First as a kid, footloose and free,

I fished with my dad not a care did I see.

I mothered my brother and tended the house,

A child in the fifties,the neighborhood mouse.

Then came the teens which went by too fast,

Young Elvis's crept in and out of my past.

Young love, old love, no day was the same.

Adventure, adventure just playing the game

.

Then came my children, the number was three.

Each so different and a delight to me.

I could have not survived had this present not been sent

To need me and want me and hold me.....

I'm Content.

Now are the adventures of Old Life and pain.

I wanted in this life to make the big gains.

But these are the Works that God put me here for.

To help my fellow man to light a new star.

To help him to smile on a bad day.

To make the pain less and maybe go away.

I feel God smiling, and listen to him say,

"Poke, the world is much better for just one day.

One on one we have slipped through the night

One on one we will be alright"

                          Charlene"Pokie Too"Pryor

What am I Battling Now?

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I am not going to dwell on this but I things have once again changed for me.  After my seizure last week, I'm dizzy and the anti-convulsion medication really knocks me out.  They have cut the requip to twice a day and today I slept from 12:00 to 4:00  and probably would have slept longer if my mom had not woke me up to see how I was doing. But as before, thirteen years ago, I am calm and peaceful inside.  Only one thing has changed since then, now the one thing I had left is gone .... my right hand.  It now shakes right along with the left and takes me to  unexpected places on the computer. I look up and I am on the wrong line or wrong page all together.  Why don't I just give up?  I have wrote enough lines to fill several books.  I have made my point with more than enough people.  I have traveled enough miles for Parkinson's.  Or have I?  Is there a stopping point?  I don.t think so.  Is there someone interested that this seizure has set my right hand off ? If there is not there should be.  Some researcher should be calling me in to investigate what is going on with me.  Why is my right hand unable to rest when I am typing?  This is almost like starting over with PD except the symptoms are much worse.  This is my diagnoses Pd, RA, Epilepsy, Diabetes, Fluctuating Blood Pressure, and Cysts in my Carotid Artery.  The Heart is good. With these I am a medical wonder or disaster waiting to happen, so I am just going to continue as I have, writing things from the heart, because I know it cares. Writing things from the mind. as long as it holds out and I can remember.  And writing things from my soul forever......Love Pokie