"Old"

For four years or more, I have been in search of answers to many questions that enter in and out of my life. One of them is when does one become old? While growing up; "old" was my grandparents and the little ladies at church with the heavy nylon stockings which always seemed to sag somewhere and the shriveled up little men who carried gum to entice you into good behavior and light conversation. As I got older; " old" was ladies with too much makeup and too funny a color hair and men wearing bad fitting topees. After sixty; I went into denial and refused to address the subject any longer. I am now sixty three and think of "old" as a hundred and can only hope, if I make it, I do so with company. No one wants to be alone but particularly when your old. Pain seems worse as does thinking. Life is so much easier with a friend.....and life has graced me with many friends and lots of love. Recently my life took another turn and this turn came at a particularly bad time but as it seems, God did not wish me to decide I was done and give up. As I made my Bucket List in preparation for my inevitable demise He intervened, as He always does and sent me down yet another path.....teaching me once again I am not in control and never was . Only my Lord decides when and where and just how happy or unhappy you shall be. I HAVE NOW COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT"Old" is just a word not to be thought about. Some may be "old " at twenty or maybe born old......I chose to stay forever a kid in my heart and possibly that kid will convince my mind and body that "Old" just doesn't exist.....Love ya always Pokie

Look at Our Finished Project

Look at this finished quilt all ready to be shipped to Glasgow, Scotland for it's debut to the World at the Parkinson's Global Congress in the fall.This is the combined effort of 16 Parkinson's patients and Parkinson's friends in different stages of the disease but ready to show their abilities to shine. The Parkinson's disease Foundation has been working diligently since last October to put together a huge display for the Congress called the PDF Quilt Project and these panels were made by only patients and friends who post on Patientslikeme.com. From Kenya to Chili, from East coast , West Coast and Texas and the Midwest, the panels came in. They were made with love and heart felt happiness to be participating in something so important to Parkinson's Awareness. As each panel arrived at my house in Illinois over the months, before I sent them jointly in for quilting, you could feel the personalities and warmth. Like a bunch of kids, each was different and unique. some needed mending, and some were not square, some needed backing to make them stronger. some drew a picture and some told a story and some just begged you to touch and get to know them.

By the time the day came to call FedEx and package all sixteen 2 foot x 2 foot panels for shipping, I handled each one it seemed a hundred times and I could barely let them go. But that evening as I sat and stared at them one last time.....something inside me just was bursting with pride. The same pride a mother feels when she sees her children walk down the isle to receive their diploma to graduate. I just stood up in the middle of my living room, with no one around, and said quietly to myself, "Yes, we are being heard, finally." Bless you
Parkinson's DiseaseFoundation for giving us this opportunity and bless you, the makers of these panels for your time and effort while battling this awful disease and last but not least thank and bless you Patientslikeme.com for giving us a home to flourish from........As always Pokie

Fairies at Play

REALITY

Reality came to play in my yard today.
I watched her with wonder from my room with a bay.
She danced and she sang and she chased butterflies.
I sat and I stared and I wanted to cry.

How dare her come to my yard and bring such glee.
Where roses grow in colors and bunches of three.

She ran in between and merrily she flew.
My life's been trespassed......
For Free.

Odd my mind would go here yesterday, when in the Midwest the temperatures soared past a hundred and rain came by buckets, but, I guess, it was the sight of butterflies dancing around every available flower in the yard that sent my mind to wander this path. So many uninvited things have been entering my life since I started to battle Parkinson's. Usually I don't dwell on losses and try to go on, but I see now, because I thought I had dotted all the "i's" and crossed all the "t's" as I went along and never was one to look back that I was eventually have to face facts. Then along comes something or someone who you cannot ignore and they are not considered a trespass but as they wonder into your life you are forced to acknowledge the times you have had taken away leaving so little to respond to life with. You look back and so want to be the person of before, agile and carefree but know that your bones will never leave you painless for a romp in your past. One thing I am so fortunate to have realized today,is that while the taking away was in process, some things were left behind. My heart and my mind hid quietly away as my mobility was stolen and gone. Once my body could no longer move, my figure soon drifted to places that were impossible to enter and at this point my mind sought solace and declared,"Enough." I have since realized, my heart and my mind took over for what was taken away and that was fine until yesterday and I dreamed of years gone past and freedom of flight. May it be possible, we will only see, if my mind might be stronger than all of me and gain me this one last chance at life that had slipped away only to be saved for another day. love always Pokie