Saturday, May 31, 2008

Finding contentment......
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....I have this game I play with myself almost everyday. I go to my library and pull out a book or the bible and let it fall open and I read. Almost every time it is something that fits into what I am worrying about....I have always thought this to be God's way of leading me to the water. Today's message was ...I have learned, in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content...Philippians 4:11

Such a short statement , yet so meaningful to me at this time. I am not my usual self lately and I realize that and I know it will improve but that knowledge does not lessen the blow this plays on my inner being. I have the ability to soar to almost a manic state of happiness and yet when I'm down it takes me a while to get up again. Parkinson's Disease does nothing to help this condition. And once it takes over the fatigue and pain are unreal.....I've been there and am coming through the tunnel and I am almost to the other side. The whole process gives new meaning to "I See the Light." I have found that the Lord gave me at least one blessing to fight this with and that is being bull headed. I fight this with everything in my being.....Happiness is a very precious gift to us with PD. As my disease progresses, more and more things have to be stored away as memories because I will never be able to do them again. This physically hurts yet today I realized that as old things are being taken away they are being replaced with new things and in that I should not morn the loss but celebrate the new beginnings. I'm headed to a happier state and when I get there the words will flow ever again...........

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